LIVE! From New York, New York!
|| Monday Night are you ready for Turmoil baby!
I here you loud and clear John, tonight is going to be a great night for some FOOTBALL!
||Football? What in the world are you talking about Scott? Where here for one of the biggest upgrades in CCW history, as tonight Turmoil once again becomes the stand alone show for CCW.
Clearly the Ravens are going into this one well prepared John, I just don't see there defence letting to much offence get past them.
||Looks like Double S thinks he's announcing Monday Night Football tonight, but let's not let that stand in the way of tonight's amazing card. Main Eventing tonight will be the World Tag Team Champions, The Best Damn Tag team, taking on the very odd Pairing of The Steve and Versus, that is if The Steve decides to show up.
Steve McNair should be showing up tonight.
||Eddie Allen will face the CCW T.V. Champion Chris Ryder. Gabe Richards was extremely impressed by EA's preformance against Versus when he got an unexpected CCW Title shot.
Colts did there job yesterday showing there stuff as defending NFL Champions John.
||A No-DQ 4 Way that includes Trips, Double A, Seth Irving, and Deano Horse should be a brutal contest, all men no very happy these past few weeks. Tyro Kraven also looks to shut up Free Agent loud mouth, OV Terror.
Defence wins games, but offence wins Championships!
||And Michael Morrison will face the Gothic Cowboy Banjo Grimm, Grimm took out Mugen last week sending him to the hospital. We'll see how that plays out later tonight.
45-13 is what I'd put my money on.
While the applause quiets down, staff sets up the teatime décor real quick so the Air and guests can sit down
The Air: Thanks for coming too this fourth edition of Teatime with Teh Air, Versus.
Versus: Namaste Air! *Versus stands up *Namaste people! * Versus smiles while the crowd goes wild, He calmly sits down as the roar of the crowd continues. Versus does the keep it a bit more quiet people taunt while The Air waits too speak until the crowd becomes a bit more quietly
Air finally gets a chance too speak from the cheering crowd: Once again welcome too the show Versus let’s get right too the chase and begin with the Namaste phrase. Please tell the people at home and in the audience what does Namaste mean? And how does it comply with people calling you a hippy nowadays?
Versus: Namaste, a simple phrase, that means, I bow to you. It's a sign of respect, and, sometimes, as negatively as it seems, a sign of defeat.
Air: Now you’ve won on Summercide from Seth Irving you became the CCW World Champion. What is up next? And how are you planning too defend the title against The Steve? A man, in my modest opinion, who always fails when he’s going for the big one.
Versus: Well, that would clearly be awesome if he kept that streak up. But, during the time Steve and I were practicing together, he's done quite well. Of course, I don't need to tell you that I'm nowhere near letting this title go. **Versus looks around confused** What happened with your Monkey actually he was always one of the funniest characters in your show?
Air: You will find out later on in the show, Versus. When we’ll introduce the toughest question round ever introduced in a talk show. Last question before the commercial break Versus. How do you maintain your aggressiveness in the ring and your calm outside the ring? How can you mix those two together?
Versus: It's not aggressivness, it's more of reading and responding. If the crowd desireds blood, I deliver blood. If the crowd desires a technical schooling, ala Versus high, I read and respond. It's not about the person I face, it's about the crowd I perform in front of.
Air: Ladies and gentlemen will be right back after these short messages? Stay tuned for more Versus!
Air: Well Versus now Private Investigator Doodles (P.I.D.) is on the scene TeaTime’s toughest question round begins. Let me explain how it works? As you can see we have several teacups on the table. You pick a teacup and in that teacup is a question you need to answer. All questions we’re made up by the tough work of P.I.D. There may be questions in them you rather won’t answer, but you have to anyway, cause of the simple fact the monkey asks you. I’ll be here too translate the questions for you so you can answer them. Is that ok with you?
Versus: I’m always up for a friendly game.
P.I.D. : Oe ie ah, ie ie ah
Air translates: First pick, which cup you choose?
Versus: That one on the left in the middle between the reds and above the blue.
PID picks up a yellow cup and reads the contents: Ie ah, oe ah ah oe?
Air Translates: Versus, why do you cheese so much in your matches? We hear a lot of complaints about that could you elaborate on that Versus?
Versus: Cheese is one way to put it. The other, is a desire to win. So what if I have to double toe kick into an illegal ground grapple, into a stomp glitch double grapple, pick up double toe kick quick grapple, turn around irish whip, toe kick, brother snap jab, into another irish whip toe kick, brother, brother, brother, brother, toe kick finisher, so what?
PID: Ie oe ah, ie ie ah?
Air translates: Pick another cup for the next question?
Versus: The furthest too the right under the yellow and above the green with the purple one next too it.
PID picks up a white cup: Oe ah ie ah ah oe oe ie ah?
Air translates: Everyone knows you used a lot of drugs in the past! Hell you were even known as everyone’s favorite stoner! So now here comes the question: “While you were doing drugs you looked a lot bigger then you do now. Did you use Steroids back then? And how do you think the steroids abuse is in OCW?
Versus: Nah, no steroids. See, weed has a significant side effect. It's called "Munch-ies." See, you smoke, and within a half hour, you've already eaten 2 bags of chips, a bag of grapes, and a tube of Pringles. So, steroids, no, munchies, YES!
PID: Ah Oe oe ieh! Oe ah!
Air translates: Last cup of the night! Pick one!
Versus: At the back too the front in the middle right of the left of the yellow one with curbstone piece onto it!
PID picks a black cup up and reads the question : Ie ah ah oe oe ah ah?
Air translates: What was the worst that happened in your childhood? And how did you adopted the name of Versus?
Versus: You know what, I was going to do a promo about where my name stems from, but instead, I think you're hosting the type of platform that allows me to relax and be honest. When I was a kid, about 8 yrs old, I got jumped for my gear. Of course, the fact that I was on welfare with my family in the middle of a ghetto that would make RD's ghetto look suburban. A chubby white kid in the ghetto isn't an easy thing to be. Life wasn't easy, on welfare til 16, but around that time...haha....even before I was dead for a short time, it was me, Versus the world...hence my name, Versus.
Air: You...didn't have to admit to that, this isn't therapy.
Versus: Eh, I figured the fans needed a reason to call me what they've been calling me for almost 3 years.
Air: Well ladies and gentlemen that’s TeaTime for tonight. Versus thank you for having us here and thank you for answering those tough questions for us.
Versus: Namaste Air! Namaste P.I.D.!
PID gives Versus a hug, Versus returns the gesture.
Air: Well on this loveable bombshell we end the night! Hope you all watch next time! Goodnight and God bless all! … Oh wait I just hear we have some final words of some of our fans on the balcony we’ll end the show with that. Cya soon people!
The Camra pans over to Banjo being inteviewd bye Trisha Waltrip.
Trisha: Banjo do you feel that you are handicapped tonight after being assaulted by Mugen?
Banjo: Handicapped of course. Dat yeller Mugen bate the hale out of me by attacking me from behind. And is plain out wrong for management to make me rassle tonight. I should still be in the hospital!
You then see Mugen come into view of the camera in front of Banjo.
Banjo: What? You come try to bate me up agin?
Mugen: First off banjo i didn't attack you last week and furt....
Banjo cuts mugen off before he can finsih his sentence.
Banjo: WHAT THE HALE YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T BATE ME UP! I WAS FOUND IN YOUR LOCKER ROOM HOW DO SUPPOSE YOU CAN EXPLAIN THAT!
Mugen: First off, I don't know what the hell you were doing in my locker room but it wasn't me that beat you up. And secondly, you don't look that beat up to me. For someone who was just beat the hell out of last week you would think he would be looking a little more worse for wear, you know?
Banjo: Hey some make up and medecine can do wonders. But I tell you what...I'll be back here next week with my ol' country lawyer and I'm fittin to sue your ass for assault!! I'll see you in court, pardner.
|| That Banjo sure is a weird one, but Mugen seems to be telling the truth.
He should toss out the flag and take this one upstaires John.
As the camera comes into focus, we see The Steve pulling up to the arena on his ‘Justice Vespa’. As he approaches the arena, he hits the brakes and squeals his tires, jumps off the Vespa, and makes his way to the wrestler’s entrance of the arena…where he is greeted by CCW security personnel.
CCW Security: We were told you might be ‘stopping by’ tonight. We have strict orders not to let you anywhere near this arena tonight, so if I were you I would get back on that little faggity-a** scooter of yours and putt-putt yourself out of here.
The Steve becomes visibly angry.
The Steve: Who the f*** do you think you are, rent-a-cop, to talk to The Steve like that? Get the hell out of The Steve’s way before he does something you might not like.
The Steve starts to walk toward the wrestler’s entrance again, when the security guard steps in front of The Steve and the door and The Steve bounces off of him.
The Steve: Move it, a**hole!
CCW Security: You’re not getting in here until I get word from Mr. Richards that you can enter the arena.
The Steve: Fine…go send one of the other rent-a-cop monkeys and tell Gabe that The Steve needs to discuss some business.
The CCW Security member motions for another security member to go and tell Gabe Richards that The Steve needs to speak with him. He then turns back to The Steve.
CCW Security: Someone is getting Mr. Richards. Now, you have two options…go over there (the security member points to a picnic table against the outside of the arena about 20 feet away) and wait, or get on your scooter and drive yourself into the parking area and wait…your choice.
The Steve: The Steve doesn’t feel like arguing with some rent-a-cop jerkoff anymore, so he will wait by the table. You make sure Gabe gets that message that The Steve is here.
CCW Security: Whatever, man.
The Steve heads over to the picnic table and lights up a joint while he waits and the security member resumes his post at the wrestler’s entrance to the arena as the camera fades to ...
Double A: NEW YORK!!!!
Double A: Ya know, I'm feeling pretty good tonight. I'm feeling pretty cocky actually. I've been drinking since noon and I can't remember where the hell my hotel is....so tonight after the show when I hit the "scene" in the big city...I expect that one of you lucky ladies will be taking Double A home to meet mom!
Crowd POP...screams and shreeks come from the women.
Double A: That's right...how's that saying go?
Double A begins to do an HBK Strut in the ring...and then stops...
Double A: I can stay up ALL NIGH-......NO I CAN'T!!! And why the hell would I want to either??? I'll be so drunk you'll be lucky to get grudge humped for 15 minutes before I pass out on top of you, suffocating you with my weight!! And then I'll sleep all day tomorrow and you'll have to explain to your kids, and probably your husband what a 280 lb bear is doing sleeping in your bed...or on the couch...or on the floor in the dining room....or out back on the picnic table.
Double A: But before I go nuts in New York city, I've got a very special guest that will be joining us shortly. This is a man that doesn't do interviews. He feels like he is better than all of us...and some of us, perhaps. This man thinks he is actually talented in the squared circle. He sticks his nose where it isn't wanted. Despite being worth less than half, He offers his Two Cents every chance he can. He's whiney...He's bitchy...
He's known for doing drugs and doing jobs. This man...ladies and gentlemen, is THE BEVE!!!
The Beve coughs as he inhales some of the smoke from his entrance. Double A pats him on the back while handing him another microphone.
The Beve: Don't touch The Beve!!! He doesn't want your fifthy paws on him.
Double A: Touchy are we?
The Beve: The Beve is not amused by your remarks about him. Afterall, the Beve IS better than you Double A.
Crowd begins to boo
Double A: Right....well, it's interview time Leave it to Beaver...but before we kick this off, I'm dying to know...What was up with that Pink Helmet...and the matching Pink Pyro? Showing our true colors are we?
The Beve: The Beve took off The Beve (pointing down the aisle at the helmet) so The Beve wouldn't mess up The Beve (gestures to his hair)...and so it wouldn't weigh The Beve down as he pranced to the ring. Did you like The Beve's new entrance music. The Beve is excited that he now has an excuse to skip down to the ring.
Double A: Why in the hell do you refer to everything after YOURSELF???
The Beve pulls out a bag of unmentionables from his tights and begins rolling a phatty on the turnbuckle. Double A sniffs at the air.
The Beve: Because the Beve is Special...The Beve is better than...
Double A: I know...I know...The Beve is better than me. Well Beve, I don't know what makes you look more like a PU$$Y, the Pink Helmet, or that bob cut you've been prancing around with for as long as I've known ya.
The Beve: Watch your mouth when you refer to THE BEVE (gestures towards hair again) The Beve will race you on Vespas any time you think you've got the plums.
Double A: (Holding back his laughter with the crowd) So what you're telling me is...You want to Race Vespas?
The Beve: Indeed...
Double A: What are you rolling up there? Is that...is that?
The Beve: THE BEVE!!!! BRA-.....
Double A motions for the crowd to keep playing along...
Double A: Dude, you're rolling Oregano!
The Beve: It's The Beve's special blend! THEBeve!!!!
Double A: So let me get this straight...what exactly is a "Vespa"?
The Beve: It's The Beve's HOG. Didn't you see him patroling on it last week?
Double A: THE SCOOTER???? !!!!!
Double A bends over and begins laughing hysterically.
The Beve lights up his Oregano dubie and begins choking.
The Beve: -GASP-COUGH-CHOKE- that's some good sh -COUGH-CHOKE-COUGH-
Double A: I don't think I'd fit on a "Vespa". But I love the fact that I am having legal issues resulting from alcohol and motorcycles and now all of a sudden you're riding around here on a scooter all tanked up on keeferaide.
The Beve: That's because The Beve isn't creative. The Beve has no talent...The Beve thought it would be cool to take what happened to you and turn it into a gimmick.
Double A: You don't have a gun in your pocket, because this feels like a shoot to me Beve....
The Beve: The Beve doesn't handle guns...because if he did, he'd probably shoot himself given the amount of narcotics that the Beve ingests. Speaking of...
The Beve goes into his tights and pulls out a small vile. He empties it out on the turnbuckle and goes to snort it. Double A intervenes and shoves The Beve Back. Double A thumbs the buckle and gets some of the white powder on his thumb. He licks it.
Double A: This is powered sugar!!!
The Beve: What can I say....The Beve is an addict. Now step aside.
Double A clears the buckle of the sugar. This seems to upset the Beve who reaches into his tights and pulls out a bottle of pills. He opens the bottle and begins pouring them down his throat. He's chewing viciously to get them all down.
Double A: What are those?
The Beve: The Beve's Vitamins....
Double A snatches the bottle away from The Beve.
Double A: This is vitamin C....Beve, you're going to O.D. on over the counter chewable vitamins.
The Beve: That's what The Beve is hoping for.
Double A: Well, if it means anything to you, your career O.D.'ed about 2 months ago. Say...you sure have alot of room in those tights Beve.
The Beve: The little Beve is hiding because he is currently packaged tightly in these little undies that The Beve manages to squeeze on every night.
Double A: Maybe its all of the illegal substances that you've been shoveling down your throat for the past 10 years.
Crowd POP. The Beve taunts the crowd.
The Beve: That is why The Beve is going to face Versus for the CCW Heavyweight title at September to Rememember.
Double A: oooooHHHH
Double a throws his arms up shaking them.
Double A: Big Shocker!
The Beve: What?
Double A: Everybody knows that The Beve suddenly appears in the title picture out of nowhere. Hey, didn't you lose to Irving a little ways back when he gave you a shot?
The Beve: Whoa Whoa Whoa...The Beve never said anything about winning. Not to worry...The Beve actually winning the title isn't likely. Therefore the Beve will continue to get shots at it. The Beve cannot explain why he receives so many shots at the champion. But, The Beve will gladly go out there, just like he will later tonight, and do his best to keep the crowd awake.
Double A: I'm not saying this to be mean Beve...well, actually....I kinda am...But do you actually think that you can get over by simply riding around drunk or high on a scooter designed for a 15 year old girl? Or by jaw jacking Versus' Mom? Or a bunch of teenage boys?
The Beve: The Beve is over....he's over his limit...over his limit in failed opportunities. But you know...The Beve will just have to make a phone call or two, and he'll get another shot. Despite the fact that nobody really wants to see The Beve in the main event at September to Remember, he will be there, and he'll take on Versus' Mom if she shows up to fight. Further, The Beve enjoys Teenage Boys...(Double A looks at the Beve in disbelief that The Beve actually went there live on Turmoil, it was an OH SHIT we're going to get suspended look)
Double A: Well, it's a good thing that OCW's title match is always higher on the card. Apparently it means so much more to the PPV buyrate. C'mon Beve, who would buy a PPV with you as it's headliner?
The Beve: The Beve's parents would. So would the Beve's girlfriend. The Beve's dog....and probably the Beve's neighbor. Hopefully some Teenage Boys...
Double A: Well Beve, I think I'd rather watch a Walker Texas Ranger marathon before I'd sit through a main event starring The Beve.
The Beve: Walker Texas Ranger??? The Beve wants to know what channel that is on...because he would rather watch that too.
Double A: You know what Beve, you aren't as bad as I thought you were.
The Beve: Really? <>_<>
Double A: No, you're worse. In fact, if I have to hear your whiney voice or sit through another promo involving drug use or scooter driving, I think I'm going to pull the plug on you myself.
The Beve: But...but I'm the Beve!!!
Double A: I could call you alot of things Beve...but I think the most appropriate thing that I can call you is "Old News".
The Beve: The Beve jobs tirelessly in main events for these fans' viewing pleasures!!!
The Beve: The Beve does drugs on TV because he has low self esteem. The Beve shoots off at the mouth backstage because he can...and because nobody stands up to him. The Beve has a Poison Poster in his locker-room!
Double A: What the hell does that got to do with anything???
The Beve: The Beve looks up to Poison. The Beve Idolizes Poison...the Beve-
Double A: That's not Poison on the poster...
The Beve: It is! You'll see!!! The Beve can do whatever he wants...and say whatever he wants...Because he is THE BEVE!!!
Double A: Well, I'm glad to say that.........The Beve is all out of passes...
The Beve: What's that supposed to mean?
Double A: Right here...Right Now!!! The Beve and Double A...for the # 1 Contendership to the CCW Heavyweight Championship!!!!
The Beve: Oh silly, it doesn't matter who wins that match...the Beve always manages to find himself in a position to get a shot at the title. You know, I'm sort of like that Hulk guy...or That dude from Connecticut...you know, the one that looks like Trips. The Beve is just really lucky I guess.
Double A: RING THE GODDAMN BELL!!!
Double A removes his biker vest and squares up. The Beve looks focused here as well. The Beve begins humming the theme song for Walker Texas Ranger.
A Crew dressed like medical staff rush down to the ring and quickly stretcher The Beve out of the ring as Double A Celebrates. The Beve sits up while being carried up the ramp, reaches into his tights, pulls out another baggie of what appear to be Italian cut Mushrooms. He starts stuffing his face and throwing a few here or there out into the crowd as the crew stretchers him backstage.